“Hoe Manifesto”
by Tia Ja’nae
One thing’s for certain and two things for true/a nut might be a nut but still taboo/cotton will sell like tricks going to screw/so the hoes on stroll taming all the shrews/good hoes run the track rural or urban/and takes all types from flunkies to surgeons/teetotalers or those in the bourbon/even priests on religious conversions/it might seem like a come up if you square/but most out here on wings and a prayer/ain’t too many bitches boss millionaires/fucking in backseats quick head down the stairs/most only know about the hoes in chalk/not the glamour strutting light the hoe walk/this job out here is dangerous real talk/the cops don’t give a shit when tricks hoe stalk/small price to pay for a piece of the rock/trade finds a way to make cash on the stock/its enough trade option down every block/for a trick to find the right piece to knock/ a bitch like me out here hustling heat/game’s on lock switching my hips on repeat/my mind on cash counting future backseats/since these tricks got to skeet and get meat beat/or cheat in the street my closed legs don’t eat/unemployment is high just to compete/sex is one currency not obsolete/but its hard as hell not to feign defeat/these days inflation done hit the panties/tricks don’t want to pay but guzzling down brandies/crying broke hard strutting in pink caddies/now hoes working in any nooks and crannies/the stroll is brutal and does molest slow/got to watch for the cops if not lest dough/I done seen a lot and done the rest so/I wrote this here a hoe manifesto/there’s a lot to cover so take notes/ selling sex is more that setting price quotes/this life ain’t a come up sowing wild oats/tricks are out there that will cut your damn throats/soon as they skeet as you slob their knobs/one of the many dangerous pit jobs/you take all comers from neat to the blobs/because they pay you to ease where they throbs/let me break it down layer by layer/in this line of work there is no dick slayer/or any bailouts from the taxpayer/just a fuck and nut for the purveyor/you are not a courtesan but a whore/the holes on your body will stay right sore/tricks push them to the limit and much more/and if you can’t handle that there’s the door/get your mind right and get the business straight/tricks pulling up ain’t looking for a mate/all they care about is what’s your set rate/know they will low ball at the starting gate/trying not to bust when they copulate/remember what you sell is lustful sex/how you work a stroke is what earns you checks/that’s the easy part any hoe can flex/getting your hustle strong is more complex/hoes should know perception’s all relative/society calls the trade negative/providing service that’s imperative/so keep that in mind on this narrative/ain’t telling you how to fuck that’s given/if you can’t do that by now wrong mission/this here is for ambitiously driven/of those that do homework and have vision/so now that you’ve gotten yourself a whiff/if this life’s for you pull tight your midriff/I’m about to lay on you the hoe riff/send you down the river on a hoe skiff/there’s rules to this game so don’t misconstrue/plenty of trade waiting on rendezvous/just follow my steps and do what I do/the moneymakers are the chosen few/now some work it so the street know their name/pimps follow suit herein lies the street fame/keep your mind on business fuck the acclaim/end of the day it’s all a money game/a bitch need coin to put spice on the roux/cash up front then leave off the avenue/make the tricks pay for the room with a view/get they ass off quick then bid them adieu/you never can tell what may lie ahead/cuz a trick that has to pay might see red/get the cash in hand before the legs spread/whether you work in the backseat or bed/so before you let the trick sweat and grunt/bitches are going to need cash up front/and this isn’t for you to profile and stunt/to be blunt this satisfies the cash shunt/fuck the market rate set your own price/some might scoff but its worth the sacrifice/when tricks get cheap say go fuck dirty rice/you got bills to pay in hoe paradise/remember these words and that I said it/on this type of bed shit don’t front credit/streets get to talking like its some fed shit/that leaves you wondering how the bread split/stuck with a bad rep without an edit/worse than a bitch out here selling bled slit/then word travels fast you got a lead clit/ain’t no coming back from that lost dead pit/you might take the short the tricks take the loss/they agreed to the deal for ass you toss/that there is the true secret of hoe sauce/stamp it paid on the cost to be the boss/dodging lice ain’t even nice for the archetype/whether you fuck suck or have an ass wipe/practice will tell you who’s pockets are ripe/and if you do it right you’ll earn your stripe/on this next part don’t be acting funny/since you out here humping like a bunny/there is only so much milk in the honey/meaning you’ve got to spend to make money/a good hoe learns quick to avoid disease/because that will limit the aim to please/I don’t care how much money a trick tease/keep condoms close by on your next fuck sprees/trust and believe they’re your very best friend/buying in bulk is what I recommend/top quality shit that won’t break or bend/your health is worth it to give up those ends/the name of the game is self-reliant/never use anything from your client/they will poke holes just to be defiant/a sick joke that will quickly turn violent/there is shit out there that will kill your ass/leave you genital warts on pubic mass/make your insides harden like dirty brass/this is one point where there is no impasse/and it’s fine using other birth control/but condoms stop the fire in the hole/and herpes sores from spreading off the pole/that shit is as cute as a half-ate foal/now a hoe will hoe and be mad fearless/tricks who get burnt snap your neck with quickness/illness is bad for the fucking business/worse than wives discovering a mistress/plus the word will be out all over the street/haters will keep the rumors on repeat/don’t matter if you can pull a clean receipt/hoes catching herpes want your ass to beat/pimps brand you burned on the street telegram/now your money is fucked and on the lam/and the only tricks you can muster scam/so you stay as the hunted or you scram/so keep your wits about yourself and check pride/getting burned ain’t no picnic verified/ain’t no unemployment for you to ride/always pack plastic when you slip and slide/now that we got that point out of the way/you might hear old hoes from back in the days/out of pocket on what will and won’t pay/ignore them is all I can really say/keep your mind on your pockets and your lays/there’s been some tension I dare to mention/hoe attention changed and by extension/bitches convention looking for pensions/this goes back to what I said at the start/it’s all about the cash flow so don’t thwart/do what you do but keep the business smart/not every hoe out here got the right heart/on the prowl for future baby daddies/or caught at the bottom of drug baggies/dead on the curb from fentanyl candies/missing a few organs in back alleys/take it from an OG this shit’s simple/what you’re selling is a body rental/dealing with the public temperamental/fuck what the law say it is essential/all types of hoes all types of bitches/fulfilling needs of all types of niches/renegades navigating the glitches/or hoes with pimps playing rags to riches/figure out your own classification/before its assigned by hoe federation/it’s the cultural appropriation/that leads unsure hoes to degradation/starting with bitches traveling in packs/the hoes out here with monkeys on their backs/whoring for the pimps, players, and the macks/you can never ever pay them enough stacks/a pimp by code offers everything/treat you like a mistress on a wild fling/try to get you sprung on the sex they sling/a pimp wants one thing the paper your bring/the needy like that want the cash speedy/they’ll work your ass to death yes indeedy/sell all your holes to slimy and seedy/keep you sprung on junk leave your eye beady/I’m telling you what I know and what’s true/a pimp real quick to leave eyes black and blue/put you on the hoe stroll when they get through/short on the cash they beat you with a shoe/when you’re with a pimp your rank is a flea/long as you’re making cash you’re never free/your sweat is what pays for the player spree/a never ending cycle there sweetie/millions of hoes have suffered the same fate/starting out with love when that money straight/then some shit happens and it flips to hate/with a fist in your sternum when cash late/a pimp’s going to pimp and wants that ass loose/come rain sleet or snow you better produce/put the chop in his hand without excuse/no quotas met will end up in abuse/learn early on your keep then acquiesce/any freakish desires you profess/no looking for lovers with nice finesse/it’s about his paper no more no less/to the hoes out here self- represented/pimps are still a worry being offended/ competition of their hoes is resented/they’ll cop snitch and get you apprehended/setups are a real thing don’t you forget/take what they say serious even threats/they’ll rape you too and start the pool on bets/shade is really real like water is wet/pimps smell the cash flow and want you dusted/some are just mad in their hearts they lusted/ neither them or their hoes can be trusted/they out for the wins leaving you busted/speaking of which never tell anyone/how much you made whose record you outdone/when the cash coming in loose lips have fun/while bitches faces stuck on stun/a brag is a bad thing in a hoe bag/a gag when the hoes need a bitch to drag/a snag when the cops need a mark to tag/rough shag for a hoe slipping at a stag/haters going to hate then sound the whistles/next thing you know you’re looking at pistols/who cares if a hoe is shot on gristles/your ass will be dead says the clerk’s initials/moving on to the hoes on life support/like the ones on the scene hooking for sport/or the ones slinging ass for dope to snort/holding balls don’t mean come play on the court/just because you can hoe don’t mean you should/just you wait until it gets round the hood/you’ll have more action than you thought you could/so now it’s understood you’re just driftwood/there are amateurs and professionals/one’s broke while the other counts decimals/if you have to guess then you’re skeptical/an amateur fucking on sectionals/for pleasure to tell your confessionals/hoes make coin they’re not cum receptacles/if you keep that mind its your festival/but either way a hoe susceptible/you can get got out here for real low key/don’t let these bitches know your revelry/jealous bitches in the street guarantee/will snitch out and make you a parolee/it ain’t just them it’s also who you fuck/they’ll hit you for your trap and then get buck/try to choke you out until you upchuck/cut you here and there until blood runs amuck/now this next point of reference gets frowns/don’t take no tricks to your spot to get down/some like to follow your steps around town/and some like to stalk right before they clown/slice titty where it’s pretty committee/eyes slitty killing kitty you feel me/feeling witty with no police frisky/it’s shitty but gritty in the city/ the biggest thing you have to keep in mind/don’t fall in love with a trick while you grind/they will remember you’re a hoe defined/in the worst possible moment combined/they not taking you out the game resigned/say they understand but mad flip rewind/bring up the tricks that hit it from behind/then the streets will talk and they won’t be kind/heeds these words and tie a yellow ribbon/to the realest shit ever been written/tricks will snitch like a group of male pigeons/thinking their stroke has you the least smitten/in conclusion a hoe’s life is just pain/an appetite for cash just to maintain/the rewards may outweigh the constant strain/since we make money on any terrain/the government wants their piece of your cut/tricks might want to kill you instead of nut/bitches might want to fight instead of strut/signs all around you feel it in your gut/these streets make you sow what you shouldn’t reap/that’s why you watch the company you keep/so your body ain’t found on a trash heap/or another ghosts on the block never sleep/follow my advice you just might make due/and be more well known than the Charleston chew/take all comers and throw them in the queue/choose your tricks wisely you know how we do.
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Tia Ja’nae is a Creative Writer and Master Propagandist. In her spare time she is a Trekkie, classified by the order of your government. A 2022 Chinaski Winner, 2023 Pushcart Prize Nominee, 2022 Pulitzer Nominee In Fiction, her previous short stories have been featured in Pulp Modern, Pulp Modern Flash, Shogun Honey, Tough Magazine, 45th Parallel Magazine, 365 Tomorrows, Flashback Fiction Magazine in print and online media. Her full length novel Ghosts On The Block Never Sleep as well as other works are currently published by Uncle B. Publications LLC.